officiant Best Practices
These days, more and more couples are choosing to have a friend, family member, or loved one officiate their wedding. It’s a beautiful way to make the ceremony feel more personal and heartfelt. However, without experience, even the most well-meaning officiant can run into challenges that affect the flow and impact of the day.
Having officiated and directed over 110+ weddings in the past decade, I’ve seen what works—and what doesn’t. Whether you're stepping into this role for the first time or you're a seasoned officiant looking to refine your approach, here are my top recommendations to help you lead a ceremony that's smooth, meaningful, and memorable.
Arrive Early:
Plan to arrive at least 30 minutes before the ceremony for a mic check. Most DJs will provide a wireless lavalier mic—be prepared to clip it on.
Tech Considerations:
If you're using a phone or tablet to officiate, hold it in a way that avoids sun glare on your face. Harsh lighting can ruin photos.
Pre-Ceremony Coordination:
Before the ceremony begins, have a quick meeting with the DJ, coordinator, or cue person to ensure everyone is aligned. Let the DJ know the final word of your script so they know exactly when to start the recessional music.
Sound Check for Others:
Inform the DJ of any additional speakers—such as singers, readers, or those reciting poems—so they can have an extra microphone ready. This prevents awkward pauses and confusion.
Dress Thoughtfully:
Ask the couple what they'd like you to wear. You don't want to clash with the wedding party or stand out unnecessarily.
Ceremony Entrance:
Avoid standing at the altar while guests arrive—it feels awkward and out of place. Instead, walk in with the groomsmen as the ceremony begins.
Project Your Voice:
Speak confidently and clearly—just loud enough to be heard without yelling.
Opening Remarks:
Begin with a short welcome before the ceremony starts. This is a great time to remind guests to silence their phones and refrain from taking photos, especially if the couple has requested an unplugged ceremony.
Direct Guest Movements:
When the couple walks down the aisle, invite guests to stand. Once they’ve arrived at the altar, kindly ask everyone to be seated. (Many guests will remain standing if not prompted!)
Have a Backup:
If you're officiating from a device, always bring a printed copy of your script in case of tech issues.
Ring Check:
Double-check that the ring bearer or designated holder actually has the rings!
Use Natural Humor:
Humor is a great way to connect with the crowd, but keep it natural and appropriate for the moment. Don’t overdo it—it can diminish the significance of the ceremony.
Give the Couple Their Moment:
If the couple is exchanging personal vows without your assistance, step aside. It creates a more intimate and powerful moment.
Capture the Kiss:
When announcing the kiss, move out of the frame. This not only creates a better visual for photos but also enhances the emotional impact of the moment.
Closing the Ceremony:
Once the couple exits and guests begin to leave, return to the altar and offer closing instructions. For example:
“Family and friends, thank you for witnessing this special occasion. At this time, please make your way to the patio for cocktails and hors d’oeuvres. Kindly allow the first row and family to exit first. Thank you!”
Practice Makes Perfect:
Rehearse your script and cues in advance. Winging it rarely works—it will show.
Rehearsal Timing Tip:
When scheduling the rehearsal, tell the wedding party to arrive 15–30 minutes earlier than the actual start time. This ensures punctuality and keeps everything running smoothly, allowing you all to enjoy the rehearsal dinner on time.
Let me know if you'd like this formatted into a checklist or printable guide!